India, our beloved nation, trust me, is exactly similar to Pamela Andersons silicon babies. Why? Both are large. And fake. This self-proclaimed superpower is the penguin with wings. Come on, face it dude. You can’t fly with those! We emulate as well as criticize the West in the same breath.
Do you know the pre-requisites for a wannabe to enter college in India? 1. Grow your hair. OR 2. Smoke. When these wannabes hit the roadblock of monotonicity, the long haired ones smoke, and the ones who smoked, well, grow hair. It’s a vicious cycle. Dude, growing hair and expecting to be the next Chad Kroeger is like applying fair and lovely on your scrotum and expecting it to turn white.
People say American culture has bad sexual influences on growing kids. What you think teens in Uzbekistan don’t turn out horny? Aping the west in certain matters is not such a bad idea I think. CID is our longest running crime-show. (Imagine Stana Katic saying "Castle! Darwaza Tod Do!!) We have a feminized Jerry Springer in our Rakhi Sawant. Or not. Do our film-makers think we enjoy watching item girls shake their booty in every movie? Dear Bollywood, you're stuck in the pre-internet porn era. IPL is not EPL. Did you hear about Lalit Modi being in England? He went about saying Man City match was spot fixed.
Last week, the parliament, decided to go against the Western culture and set the age of consent as 18. Kidding me? 90% of the parliament must have screwed their wives when they were thirteen! According to statistics, India says it has 72 nuke warheads and missiles enough to hit any country in the world. Isn't that like saying ' Hey! I have 3 billion sperms in my gun!! I can impregnate the entire women population of the world.’ Wannabe attitude. Grow up.
India, with their new-found love for cartoonists is in a hurry to rush them behind the bars. What about 26/11 you idjits?? Well, leaked reports state that Ajmal Kasab (I still secretly theorize Pakistan traded him for Sania Mirza) started shrieking loudly in jail, and RAW agents were rushed in. However, later, it was found that he was actually choking on a piece of mutton. Posters of Taliban now go ‘Terrorize India. Get free food and accommodation.' Gaddafi, Saddam and Osama were seen face-palming in hell over why they messed with America and not India. Latest sources claim Obama sent SEALS armed with that devilish pitchfork-thingy to hell in order to maintain peace there. Meanwhile, Indians visiting all foreign countries are advised to stay away from the beaches, as there is the unimaginable terror of seeing a sun-bathing Pratibha Patil there.
In short, we ape the West in what we shouldn’t and don’t do it in what we’re supposed to. Its time we stopped proclaiming our erectile-dysfunctional rise to power. Last heard, the last episode of ‘Satyamev Jayate’ will have Aamir sorting out Manmohan Singh.
“With power, comes great responsibility” – Suresh Kalmadi (wait, he didn’t say that???)
May 15, 2012
lol!!!! superb yaar
ReplyDeletemade me laugh!! :p
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