You Know You Hate Anatomy When…..

 Entered Med school, thinking it’s a mighty warship in Star Trek,

Then you notice it’s like an iceberg-crashed, Titanic deck,

Dreamt of being a kick-ass Doc, with a steth around the neck,

Anatomy, the first hurdle-which made you go “What the heck!”

                                                                             
You feel,

 Cranial nerves- their path, eccentric than a drunkard-driven express train,

 Sulci or Gyri are better seen in your bowl of noodle, than the brain

Extensor Carpi Radialis Longus did seem dead-pan long,

Until Levator Labii Superioris Aleque Nasi, then did come along.

You feel every Tom, Dick and Harry has his self-named bone fracture,

You forget facts faster than you say ‘Volkmann’s contracture’

 The histology slides, all  resemble molten cherry and grape sundae!
Surface Marking- you look as if a monkey with paint-brush, any day!

   Naming a fascia in a thousand ways, is an anatomist's greatest must,

And making Neuro Anat diagrams, which look like polka dots on pizza crusts.

  You wish to drown the dead Chaurasia, in a tank of formalin,

Or to strangle Henry Gray with an Ileum, and then grin!

       Then at the Viva-the crossroad between heaven and hell,

       A glance at that examiner, and ‘Halleluiah!” you yell!

Nostalgia

Do you remember??

The squeaky, tiny tricycle you rode around your room,

The little Lego Blocks which made your architecture bloom,

A high-decibel police car which went ‘Vroom Vroom”!!

Or the turn-a-key monkey who played the drum all day??

Don’t you think we’ve indeed walked a long, long way??

The times when,

You loved ‘123’, not knowing what maths had in store for you,

You knew that a cock crows, a crow caws and a cow does moo!

The head, chest, hands and legs was the only Anatomy you knew,

Or when we believed North Pole was where Elves and Santa stay??

Don’t you think we’ve indeed walked a long, long way??

Or the times when,

You loved Pokémon, until you couldn’t count them anymore, 
  Road rash, Mario and Dave made your fingers go all sore,

The capes, the masks and comics- you loved the superhero lore,

Or when you wondered if you’re simply too grown to play??

Don’t you think we’ve indeed walked a long, long way??

And also,

Kicking the football in the rain and even wishing for some more,

The lump in your throat when you saw the cute girl next door,

The insane talks with buddies, laughing, rolling on the floor,

Or the exam-eve, midnight toil-the eleventh hour fray??

Don’t you think we’ve indeed walked a long, long way??

Time’s a stupid bitch that waits for none, they say,

Before you even know it, your hair may start to grey!

Yet, we refrain to ditch the past and barely walk away…

Shit!! We’ve indeed walked a long, long way!!

An Invisible Existence

Amidst a thousand mirrors, petrified I stand.

Yet, why I see no myself, I fail to understand...

A run down the beach, beside a gleaming twilight sea,

Yet, why I see no footprints, reach back at me??

Lively, livid human silhouettes, which walk across the lane,

Yet, among the crowds, I seem a ghost gone insane.

Faces – grinning, laughing, smiling; be it sunshine or the rain,

Yet, why no one casts a glance upon my pain??

How I love the rains! They hide the tear in my eye…

And I love the dark, which shields the fear I deny…

I feel dead. Wait, is it any different- I live or I die??

Now, shall I fight? Wait, it’s too futile a fight…

I crave for the warmth of the love I once had,

How I miss those divine moments- crazy and mad!

Cast in this mist of loneliness, how long can I last?

Yet, I live the today, each moment, re-living the past…

Imperfectly Perfect...(Let's Move On!)

Two dark silhouettes, against the sky's crimson curtain, wide,

Or that divine, barefoot walk on the silver sands, by the sea-side.

All those movies, fake and hyped; you do wonder why they lied.

Life's not a blissful coaster ride; you know truths that silver-screens hide.

The fairy-tale, alpha life, where every crisis resolves itself,

Or those tinge of joy and cheer on every face, like an X'mas elf.

Those days are yet to dawn...With a silent prayer, let's move on...

That gentle touch on a tear-filled eye...

Or that concerned shoulder to crutch and cry...

The first kiss, in those stormy rains...

Or that innocent hug, in those backyard lanes...

Those days are yet to dawn...With a silent prayer, let's move on...

Those mindless, mid-day chats, atop the church hillock...

Laughing faces around the makeshift table of a random rock...

That photo album, with every dear, jackass friend...

Or that well-dreamt scene of a 'Happily-ever-after' end...

Those days are yet to dawn...With a silent prayer, let's move on...

How we forget life's indulgences, amongst its dull realism,

Even the monotonous white splits into colors, on the face of the  prism,

For perfection never does meet pragmatism....

For when the tiny feel-good nuances we neglect...

We forget God has made all souls imperfectly perfect...

Hyper-polarized....

        Life, now I reckon is as whimsical as a dice game of Snakes And Ladders (That 'snakes-swallows-you-and-throws-you outta-it’s-ass' game, remember?) After a tumultuous tryst with a slew of nonsensical entrance exams (Kudos to the society which shoves the tag of a doctor/engineer up an infant’s ass even before he’s half way down the vagina), I’m finally in a place I least imagined myself to be.  Each day, as I cross the road to my medical college, with a pending record book in the bag and a dissection-stained lab coat dangling by my side, I feel something indescribable fill inside of me… (Well, it could be the vehicle exhaust on Sarjapur Road, but anyways)

        

       What’s it being a medical student? While an optimist sees a glass as half-filled and a pessimist sees the same as half empty, a medical student is supposed to see a rounded structure with water extending from the inferior surface of its fossa up to its medial one-half. As I venture out in this unexplored vortex awaiting me, I’m no more oblivious that my mind is intertwined within my chaotically swaying emotions (To put crudely, I feel somewhat like a desperate sperm cell whose flagella got stuck in cilia).

        

       At times, you feel as ecstatic as a toddler clutching his new toy, yet, at times you feel like a fully metabolized bilirubin molecule (Read: In deep shit)…At times, you feel your life has more ups and downs than the ECG of a fibrillated heart…While at times you dream about patients in front of you and a stethoscope (portable, instant-suicide rope) wrapped around your neck.

       

        There will be times when you’ll feel detached, away from the world, like the rook on the chessboard…There will be times when you’ll feel isolated and unwanted, like that one damned air bubble in a micro-pipette. (Yes, it sucks. Pun intended) But equally so, there will be times when you will sense your cynicism fast fading like the fallacies of a fucked-up fakir. You know it is all worth it. You just have to stick to it and be yourself, rather than putting on a ‘I’m cool with it’ mask, more artificial than a Viagra-infused weenie.

        

       Surely, right now, everything seems as vague as a histology slide under the microscope. But we, the boot-lickers of the dice and destiny theology, will march on. Because I know this is where I wanted to be…What I wanted to be…All of it is yet to sink in…Physiologically speaking, maybe I’m just hyper-polarized…..

One For The Road...

        "Patient's in trauma. Multiple injuries. Check the vitals!", Dr. Prakash barked out orders, swinging the ICU staff promptly into action.
        "110 over 60, airways cleared, pulse faint. Resuming CPR", the assistant doctor responded.
        Kate stood there, petrified like a marble statue, gleaming drops of tears racing down her dusky cheeks. She must have seen hundreds of trauma patients. Hell, she sees them each day of her life. But watching Alex go through the ordeal, was crushing her soul into pieces. Her most special day in life, slowly turning into a vortex of unexpected horror. She felt the reassuring hand of Dr.Prakash on her shoulder. He tried to smile, unsuccessfully though. Kate wiped her tears off, grabbed her coat and joined the staff.
        "Darn! Revive the pulse, quick!"
        "Adrenaline injected. Pulse constant though. Airways getting blocked again"
         Dr.Prakash stared into the X-ray. His eyes showed concern. Kate knew he had over looked something.
         "Shit.The fifth rib's slightly fractured. Must've lacerated the right lung. He's bleeding into it"
         Kate looked at him in the eye. He turned his face to the wall, away from her. "Rush him into surgery. Hemothorax. Lung needs to be fixed. Suck the blood out", he said, walking away from ICU, his head low, his eyes transfixed on the floor.

* * *

          Kate wrapped her arms around Alex tightly. The evening sun was drowning gracefully in a sea of orange. It soaked her messy one-room apartment in quaint sunlight. The day was special to her. She pressed her head against Alex's chest as he fiddled with her hair. Eleven years ago, on this very day they had got into a relationship. To be lying in his arms on such a day, it just felt divine! So perfect her imperfect, monotonous life seemed at that moment!
       "Hey, I feel thirsty!", he yawned. "Get me some chilled water, will you ?"
       "Get it yourself, you lazy ass!"
       He pushed her out of the bed. "You mean lazy, cute ass right?"
       "You're just cruel!", she laughed playfully. She walked over to the fridge, across the room. "Alex, you're one hell of an idiot you know?", she smiled, as she opened the fridge. Her eyes went over to a small, velvet box, glistening in the LED light from behind. She took it her hands. A jewellery box?  She scanned it, flipped it and slowly opened it, not quite sure what it enclosed. What she saw inside, was a ring. "What the..." , she began to say as she turned back.
       Alex was on his knees. "Katie, are you ready to marry this idiot and spend the rest of your life in some sheer stupidity?"
       "Oh my God!", she exclaimed, smiling at the shimmering ring . She was sure it was quite a loud scream.

* * *

         She wasn't allowed to operate on any person whom she personally knows. But Kate had convinced main surgeon, Dr. Mehra to let her in as a second surgeon. The operation room scared her for the first time in her life. The mint green scrubs, the equipment, all of it frightened her. She bit her lip under her procedural mask, as the tension surged.
        The assistant finished his work on the sternum. She opened the rib-cage with a retractor. Though faintly, she could now see his heart actually beat. She wanted to cry. But she held back the tears.  She handed the surgeon a pair of thoracic forceps and rib shears.
        An hour went by. Dr.Mehra looked clueless. Helpless.
        "Hemothorax is worsening!", The techinician interjected.
        "BP is droping. Bleeding accelerating."
         The chest tube was sucking out the blood. But it looked as if there's a flood of it inside. For Kate, everything was whirling around. Nothing seemed to make sense anymore.
        "Loss of blood is heavy. 100 over 50"
        "Oxygen levels critical. Patient moving into shock. BP is spiking abruptly!"

* * *

        "Hey jerk, I'm driving!! Get out of the seat!", Jai screamed as he jumped into Alex's i20.
        "Bitch please! You're drunk! I'm the one who'll drive. You shut your cake-hole and hop behind, get me?", Alex said.
        Alex hardly drank. Even today, he hardly had a glassful.
        "What did I even drink?", Jai retorted.
        "5-6 pegs?? Thats enough ethyl alcohol in your system!"
        "I drank to celebrate for you! You proposed Kate! That's celebration time! Sit back and listen some Taylor swift, you lovey-dovey dumbass", he pushed Alex away from the drivers seat. Alex, though reluctantly let him drive. Partly because he got a call from Kate. She seemed super excited.
         Jai drove. Seemingly unaware of the reckless truck taking a sharp turn around the corner. Unaware, that the drive was going to cost him his life.

* * *

         "60 over 30. Sudden fall. He's having an arrest! Any chances for a VAD??"
         "Negligible... BP dropping fatally...We're losing him!"
          Kate trembled. "Do something, for godsakes!", she found herself screaming.
          Dr.Mehra's eyes, however, were fixed on the patient. He checked the pulse on the screen. "Response?"
          "Nil"
          The ECG lines on the computer monitor flattened into a straight line. It echoed a screeching sound.
          "Time of death 12:53 AM", Dr.Mehta said.
          Kate looked at Alex's heart. It had stopped beating. Somewhere inside her, she felt even hers had stopped. Tears dripped down her face, falling like raindrops onto his body. Removing her glove, she stared at the golden ring on her finger...

Every half an hour, a person dies due to drink-driving......